We've changed our name!

Well I mean really, if there are no longer any critters that say "neigh" around here the name Cluck-n-Neigh seems a little odd. Plus, it's still a sad memory for me to have had to give them away. Since I'm dedicated to compassionate living and generating positive karma and merit for the welfare of all beings, the new name makes more sense. Especially since I'm talking about the actual definition of karma as opposed to the strange non-Buddhist notion that karma is some sort of mystical judgement, scale to measure good and evil (and payback), or an "vibe" you "send" out to someone.


So, without further ado, we are now calling ourselves The Karma Farm! Though I do feel for the wonderfully talented JJ Tracy who created the hysterical logo for Cluck-n-Neigh. Sorry, JJ! So...uh...(feet shuffling)...wanna do another one? ;)

Give up? Me??

Everybody together....AAWWWWW!!!!

Must.Nap.NOW.

Yeah, I know I'm standing in my own food, but there's always room for naptime!

Do you ever feel...

Like everyone

Just runs...

 

Right over you??

So You Wanna Live on a Farm?

So uh...yeah...it's been awhile, huh?

Okay okay, but in my defense, I've been overwhelmingly busy. It's been so hot (and it's no joke, it was 109 the other day with a heat index of 130) I've had to start working in the overnight hours. I've also been traveling back and forth across the state monthly to prep our home in Gatlinburg to rent it to family and close friends. I've also been driving with the hubby back and forth to Washington DC in order to find him some real medical care for his chronic Lyme Disease at Jemsek Specialty Clinic. Top that off with some naughty masked bandits (aka raccoons) munching down on 5 of our chickens and yet another heaping healthy helping of human sick-minded bandit variety and our happy little flock of 80 is now....20.

Sigh.

...and...and...THE DOG ATE MY LAPTOP!

Okay, maybe not that last part. But the other stuff is 100% true. At first, I considered just packing it in and moving to Baltimore. Or maybe to some other big city featured in critically acclaimed yet popularly unnoticed television shows based on the premise of the slow death and decay of American culture due to poverty, selfishness and greed. Then I took a nap, and what do you know? I felt a little better. Rather than rent that U-Haul I sent out a mass email to our clients, friends and family explaining what had happened to our flock and soliciting their promise to help support us in whatever way they could, either by paying a little more for eggs or finding me enough clients to add in the fall that would make an attempt at raising another clutch affordable for us. They came through in spades. 

...oh, whoops! Speaking of being incredibly busy, I just got a call from the post office that our shipment of 25 chicks has arrived. Should they all survive and all be pullets like I ordered (it's never 100% accurate, though Ideal Poultry has an excellent track record for me so far) we'll be up to 50. That's our original number when we first started the business. I wish it were more, but for the time being we have to be sure our new security is working and/or school is back in session so the "little darlings" who had oh so much fun letting loose our birds to be scarfed up by dogs (most likely theirs) will have less time on their hands. So, I've gotta boogie to get the babies! That always brightens my day. Perhaps I'll continue this post while in the brooder. As I said before, I live just like Laura Ingalls Wilder, only with high speed internets and a generally bitchy attitude. 

Before I go, let me put a bug in your cyber-ear. While Michael is gone (about 8 months), I'll be looking for a roommate who can help with farm work, house work or both in exchange for lodging. But for now, it's baby time!

Okay, I've returned from helping the new babes settle in and work on imprinting. So...on to my finding a roommate/farmmate while Michael is gone. Or at the very least a part-time employee and farm sitter. I've placed an ad on a website called Caretaker-jobs.com and so far have had some interest. So, if you're interested in gettin' your farm on, you've come to the right place!  Below are the details of the note I put on our Facebook Page:

Small pay-as-you-can egg farm needs farmsitter/roommate/housekeeper to assist one owner while the other undergoes medical treatment out-of-state. We operate under permaculture ethics to maximize sustainable and compassionate living.

Details:

• Couples or singles welcome, but please no children.
• Located 1 & ½ hours from Memphis.
• Farm and/or housework experience a plus, but not required. Training provided.
• No dogs. A dog would upset the balance of our pack of four. Extreme weather conditions, on-site donkeys and wild coyotes present extreme danger to “outdoor only”dogs.
• No pet birds (due to possible disease transmission).
• Absolutely no drugs of any kind.
• Alcohol is permitted off-duty.
•  Dates flexible. Stay a week, a month, or the duration.

 Perks:

• Room/board
• Gas for farm errands run.
• Share in profits (after farm expenses) of egg deliveries made on behalf of owner.
•  For every week of satisfactory work, receive complementary 3-day stay at our creek-side mountain cabin just outside of Great Smokey Mountains National Park. Time may be banked for up to a full week stay at a time, a $1400   value.

General Requirements for Applicants:

• Tetanus up-to-date and be able to provide that documentation
• General good health
• MUST be in good physical condition
• Able to lift and carry 50-60 pounds easily
• No animal allergies
• Prepared to work in all weather conditions
• Must understand compassionate farming sometimes means making emotionally difficult decisions such as sending stray dogs to the local  kill shelter, killing a bird who is injured, culling roos, etc.
• Must be willing/able (after training) to successfully and satisfactorily complete daily farm chores alone 2x per week
• Must be flexible in work schedules and how to prioritize what is to be done. Farm work is completely unpredictable at times, and there are no time cards or guaranteed "off" times. They do happen, but one must be flexible and be ready to get back to work in an emergency.

Specific Daily Tasks for the Farm:

• Assist owner in animal routine for 40 chickens, 2 donkeys and 4 dogs. This involves feeding, collecting eggs, cleaning nest boxes, providing fresh water daily, changing water frequently during hot days to ensure cold water, etc.
• Assist owner in maintaining/repairing fence lines
• Learning our business model well enough to answer questions should you make any deliveries
• Grounds maintenance: Using weed eaters, riding mowers. Being present while owner uses tractor for bush-hogging (a safety issue)
• Running general farm errands, possibly making egg deliveries on occasion to established clients
• General maintenance/repair where needed (carpentry experience a real plus)
• Occasional house/farmsitting for up to a week

Specific Projects for the Farm:

• Clearing fence lines section by section for installation of cattle panels and field wire (as materials can be afforded)
• Putting together guinea house for next year
• Cleanup/Maintenance of garden around farmhouse (weeding, mulching etc)

Living Arrangements (General):

• I have no objection to differing religious affiliation (if any), color, sexual orientation, political ideology, etc. I expect the same understanding of a roommate. Well okay, maybe I do object to one personality type. Absolutely no racist homophobes will set foot in this door. Other than that, it's all good.

Specifics on Living Arrangements (in a nutshell, life as a roomie):

• Share in household duties (cooking, cleaning etc)
• Share in errand running (groceries, etc)
• ABSOLUTELY NO DRUGS. ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO DRUGS NEVER EVER EVER...just in case I'm too subtle here, let me reiterate. NO DRUGS.
• Alcohol is permitted so long as you aren't a "knee walkin' drunk."
• Men are welcome but if you dip and drop a spit cup on the carpet,  I. Will. End. You.
• Vegans are welcome, but if you can't handle flesh in the fridge this is a deal-breaker.

The Best Laid Plans...

I don't want to use that now infamous phrase about the avoidance of projectiles that have been released through firearms, because it feels like it would be akin to using the name of the Scottish play in a theatre. And of course, we all remember what happened after they declared the Katrina crisis over right after the storm passed but before the levies broke.

But so far we've had no calls for sheltering horses, and the Agri-center in Memphis has been able to handle their load. The mighty Mississippi crested here a day earlier, so we are now just in the "wait and see" phase where the levies are concerned. I'm relieved, as I have not finished the paddock. Yesterday we had the worst dog incident we've ever had when a starved pit bull wandered on to the farm. She was older, and had a collar on. But apparently she had been either a breeder or a bait dog. Honestly I can't even describe it. She was so lame and weak from starvation that she could barely move, but the moment I approached her, she wagged her nubby tail at me weakly.

So I spent the day side tracked trying to find her some help while attempting to report the situation to the sheriff's office as a case of animal cruelty. But the only way to do that would be to have called Animal Control, where they would have taken her to the hell hole they call a "shelter." There's a strict policy of not adopting out pits who have been fighting, even if they were bait dogs, so she would have had to go through all of that stress and fear and pain only to have a needle shoved in her and her body thrown into a mass crematorium. I took her to the vet on the off chance that she was chipped and perhaps lost from the Arkansas tornadoes, but there was no chip, and she had so many old wounds that whoever owned her didn't deserve to have her back anyway.

So instead, I sat in the grass with her, fed her and petted her. She gave me sweet little kisses as she tried to sit in my lap on numerous occasions, but her pain was too great. Finally she would give up and lie beside me while I continued to stroke her and call her a good girl. It was probably the first time in her life she'd ever had that experience. Michael was once again the strong one. We dug her grave together, and I recited the Mani mantra for her. Then I put on my headphones and walked away, turning them up so high that my ears are still ringing. I never heard the shot. She's now lying in our little pet cemetery, surrounded by other victims of humankind's thoughtlessness. At least for one day she got to experience a full belly and a loving touch, and she left this world with someone to mourn her passing and cry for her. This is one day I will carry with  me for the rest of my life. I put a video of her on our YouTube Channel, but fair warning on how horrific it is. I almost deleted it, but came to the decision that she deserves to be seen and cried for.

I pray that those who were involved in her torture somehow find their way out of the suffering they have created for themselves. Because anyone who would do this to any living creature has a darkness in their hearts that is incalculable to me.

As for you, sweet innocent little dog who only wanted a lap to sit in, I pray for your swift and higher rebirth. I can't think of any creature who deserves it more.

Where's my Ark???

I know I've been off for awhile, and believe me when I say it's been CRAAAZZZEEEEEE out here! But we're doing our best at the moment to get our farm prepared for the flooding. So far we are out of the zone, but we are mending fences in case we need to take in evacuated horses.

So for the time being, twitter might be the most up-to-date I get. Come follow me on Twitter! And of course, my twitter name is BahGAWK. ;)

Hosting Our First Workshop

With warm temps come my annual attack of chickenitis (the insatiable desire to see fluffy baby chicks following their clucking moms). Since we lost so many hens due to the theft that translated into a humongous financial loss, I decided to let nature take its course rather than order from a hatchery. Besides, it's more fun anyway, and I don't have to put those poor little ones through the stress of hatching and being stuffed in boxes headed for the mail.

Since I've had many people ask about workshops or just coming to visit us, I thought I'd make a day of it with a workshop for potential chickenthusiasts on starting backyard flocks. I put it up on our Facebook page in hopes of generating interest and spreading the word.

The workshop will be from 10 am - 3 pm on May 14, and are suitable for people ages 12 and up (provided anyone under 18 is accompanied by a legal guardian).  

If you are in the Midsouth area and would like to join us, please email me at clucknneigh@gmail.com to reserve your spot as they will be limited.

So Far, So Good

Though I'm disappointed the person(s) responsible for such a devastating loss to the flock never took us up on our offer to help, I'm at least relieved to say that since we put the note up and padlocked everything that involved critters there have been no  more losses, and our egg production has quadrupled. Though it's not definitive proof that we were dealing with a predator of the H. sapiens variety rather than wildlife, it certainly could lend credence to the theory. Only time will tell.

In the meantime, we're on to bigger and brighter things. First up is doing what we can to follow through on making "Fort Chicken" as impenetrable as possible. And of course there's a lot of clearing up of brush from the winter's shenanigans to get working on. So we'll keep on keeping on, as they say. We won't be replacing the hens we lost this year, but will instead let nature take its course. If a hen decides she might like to take on the responsibility of raising a few babies herself, we'll let her go for it. The market will just have to wait another year for us, and that's just part of accepting that farm life is full of setbacks and unexpected losses. But we're not giving in, not by a long shot.

Strange Things are Afoot at the Cluck-n-Neigh

We've had a massive setback here on the farm, and I don't mind telling you it's downright discouraging. Last night I had a light bulb moment, and not of the pleasant kind. I had been wondering why our egg production seemed to be so poor. I had been blaming the wacky weather, but once it became less wacky I assumed production would go back to normal. There had been a few odd tickles at the back of my mind that seemed odd, but none taken alone were enough to raise suspicion. First it was an empty roost pole, but the hens had taken to roosting in a corner, piling up like a litter of puppies. There had been a few feathers here and there by the coop door, but I it looked like someone was molting more than anything else. Besides, I was doing my animal routine in the dark that week due to being in Memphis all day long.

Last evening around sunset, the picture became all too clear when I went looking for a few stubborn birds that for some reason hadn't come in from the yard. When I discovered an empty yard with all the girls safely roosted, it  hit me like a thump to the back of the head. Chickens were missing. I looked more closely. A LOT of chickens were missing.  By the end of the third head count, I realized all too late and with much disgust and anger what those tickles in my mind had been trying to tell me.

Someone has been catching, strangling stealing my chickens. Those feathers by the door were NOT molted, but the result of the heartless method one uses when they "wring" a chicken's neck by whirling it by the head like a bullroarer. Over  30 birds dead.

You may ask, "how on earth would she not notice for a week?" Simple. It happened while I was spending a lot of time in Memphis at Pema Karpo Meditation Center for the Monlam Chenmo (The Great Prayer Festival). I was leaving before dawn and coming home well after dark, doing animal routine by flashlight. So of course I wasn't noticing there were fewer black lumps in darkened corners. In other words, while I'm off the farm for some incredible teachings by Khenpo Gawang Rinpoche on a Tibetan text that has not even been translated into English yet (and might not be in my lifetime) and praying for world peace, some jackwagon has been killing my beloved chickens. For what? A quick meal? A mean prank? An insatiable psychotic need soon to graduate to Dexter-ical proportions? Frankly, all of these scenarios suck equally. Either someone in this neighborhood is so hungry they are reduced to foraging like a feral dog for food, or someone is so disturbed as to find it amusing to kill defenseless animals that do nothing but spend their birdie lives feeding the hungry. Double Yew Tee Eff. Add to that the realization that someone has obviously been watching our comings and goings to know when the best times would be to get up to no good and it's getting creepier by the minute.

But what really bakes the noodle is wondering how many times last week did I walk right by someone standing in the shadows, still and silent with a freshly strangled chicken in their grip?

Last year Memphis was given (and earned) the lovely distinction of being the Hunger Capital of the United States. One area in particular is also one of the worst food deserts in the nation. If you are unfamiliar with the term, a food desert is a community without access to any grocery stores. In other words, if you can't find it in the gas stations, you don't find it at all. Even if you had enough money to purchase fresh food, it is simply not available unless you have both grocery money and a car to get to the grocery stores in other communities. Things are turning around for the area though with the addition of the South Memphis Farmers Market. This humble beginning was even noted by The White House as a positive step in the right direction for a city long overdue. After our tremendous success and support from the community of Collierville, we were out of the red and into the black. Within one year, the generosity of a few made it possible for us more than double the size of our flock with the goal of making it to South Memphis, possibly making us the only provider of fresh compassionately produced eggs in the entire community.  I had high hopes that it would happen this upcoming season. But now? I can't afford to. I am right back at square one. I do not even know if I will have enough eggs left to take to the Collierville Farmers Market without having to cut families in need off. This is the exact opposite of the entire mission of Cluck-n-Neigh, and I will not do it. The actions of one (or a few) have now directly affected an entire community who could have gotten great benefit from the eggs those now-dead birds would have provided.

So for now, we are on hold until further notice. Most certainly we won't be going to the South Memphis Farmers Market this year, and if we lose any more birds we will not be at the Collierville Farmers Market either.  All we can do is hope that a few folks will help us out when and where they can so that we can make some serious upgrades to security out here. We can use help in any way you feel like giving it, be it financial, volunteer labor or ideas. Our paypal link is on the right hand side of the page for easy donations, and I've got a wish list going if you'd care to take a peek for other stuff that would help us get back on track/continue the journey. Until we upgrade to more security, I have posted a simple sign that reads:

We provide eggs to everyone, even if they cannot pay. Many families in need depend on these eggs. If you take or harm the chickens, many families go hungry.

If you need eggs, mark this page with an “X.” I will put eggs out for you in one of the feed cans, no questions asked. If you have no way to cook them, mark the page with a “B” and I will boil them for you.

Do not hurt my chickens. They've done you no harm.

Claire 2.0, Pt 2

Well I finally got around to my first recipe experiment for healthy baking. I had some old bananas that were overripe, so I figured it was the perfect opportunity for attempting a customization of the classic banana nut muffin. I started with the original that I found in my favorite cooking website, allrecipes.com. The original recipe can be found at this link.

In all honesty, I did not make this original recipe. I figure discretion to be the better part of valor when it comes to food. No sense in making the lesser of two choices health-wise, and tempting my inner caveman brain to say "Hey! This one's better! I can survive all winter on all these calories! Let's make more!"

So, I made a few changes for starters. Nothing too ambitious. I do not use electric mixers or anything, all is done by hand. Worked out fine. The new recipe is below:

Banana chocolate-chip muffins (makes 12 muffins)
Ingredients:
1 1/2 mashed overripe bananas
1 egg, beaten
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup spelt flour
6 Tablespoons cold milled flax
1/2 cup sugar
2 Tablespoons cocoa powder (unsweetened)
1 Tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup chopped walnuts

Directions:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Lightly grease 12-cup muffin tin. In medium bowl, combine bananas, flax, egg and vanilla & mix well together. Using a serving fork makes for easy mixing.

In large bowl, combine flours, cocoa, baking powder & salt. Stir in the banana mix until just blended. Fold in chips & walnuts. Spoon batter into prepped muffin tin until each cup is 2/3 full.

Bake 15 - 20 minutes. Allow to cool for a few minutes, then remove muffins from tin and place onto metal rack for complete cooling.

So let's compare the nutritional information between the two recipes (drum roll please):

Per muffin (original/new recipe):
Calories: 318/164
Fat: 17.2/5.3
Carbs: 40.6/26
Fiber: 2.4 g/3.8
Protein 3.7g/4.3

Holy MOLY! Look at what just a small change in flour, or using flax instead of oil can do for a muffin recipe! Not to mention it was quite tasty. I don't know if I would have really noticed the difference between the original and the healthier alternative. Viva la spelt flour!

Claire 2.0, Pt 1

There's a relatively new sport known as Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), that Michael and I enjoy. One MMA organization in particular is called Ultimate Fighting Championships (UFC). One of their commentators has a catch phrase he uses so often it's become a drinking game in some circles. As fighters stare each other down from their respective corners, the referee claps his hands together and shouts out "FIGHT!" The bell rings, and commentator Mike Goldberg's voice booms out:

"And heeere we GO!"

That's what I imagine in my mind as I start looking into permacooking. In other words, I have no idea what is going to happen. It might end in a healthier me, full of wisdom and sage advice to share about how you too can grow, harvest and pound your own heirloom grains like quinoa, amaranth or spelt into scrumptious breads as healthy and ecologically sustainable as they are tasty and nutritious. Or it might end in tears and bald patches from me pulling my own hair out by the handful. I'm aiming for something along the midpoint of the spectrum of extremes.

So what is permacooking, you may ask? Put simply, it's applying the three permaculture ethics (Care of earth, care of people and limiting consumption/sharing resources ) to how your food gets to your body. Though these ethics are simple, they do require a bit of learning to put into practice when it comes to food prep. There is quite a learning curve when you've been raised on McCorporate food and opening cans I can tell you!

To help other newbies on the road to being permacooking gourmets, I thought I'd share the journey! So here they are, step-by-step instructions on how to get away from the corporate world of ultra-processed, cruelty centered foods of negligible nutrition into the wonderful world of tasty, nutritious and sustainable permacooking!

Step 1: Decide to document with photos. Dig old, stale makeup out of closet and apply due to deceased Steel Magnolia mother's voice ringing in ears about how "every lady needs a little bit of color!"

Step 2: Lock self in bathroom to spare husband sounds of huffing an puffing as attempt to push earrings through piercings long ago closed from lack of adornment becomes increasingly annoying.

Step 3: Come to sudden realization as a farmer you haven't worn makeup in years. Remove makeup immediately.

Step 4: Come to second sudden realization (after about three hours) that "just a quick look on the net about DIY quinoa flour" has now become unbearably tedious. 

So, after all those steps I've come to the following conclusions.

1. It's just food. 
2. If no one likes it, I don't have to make it again.
3. Bad food = good compost, so there's nothing to lose
4. ON TO THE KITCHEN!

So folks, stay tuned for the next exciting installment of Claire 2.0!

How to Teach an Old Hen New Clucks

So maybe that's not exactly how the saying goes, but what can I say? I'm a chicken freak.

After much hand-wringing and a "where-to-begin" mentality in starting this permaculture conversion, I succumbed to an aspect of my personality that's been either help or hindrance when it comes to starting a project. More specifically it involves the various purchases I make towards that end. Depending on the desirable or undesirable outcome I refer to it either as the "karmically correct" purchase, or the "it was on sale" excuse. Only time will tell if this particular action was help, hindrance, or maybe even a bit of both.

The other day I went to Oak Lawn Garden Center. I had intended to look around and ask about special ordering some stuff for next season, but instead drove drive off with four fruit trees (two apples and two pears).  It really wasn't my fault that such an impulse buy occurred. I mean, could I help it that the "50% off all trees" sign was so conveniently placed about 100 yards away from the parking lot and around the corner from the privacy fence? At any rate, knowing that it was better to plant trees in the fall rather than spring, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to get that first fruit tree guild started. Okay, that first FOUR guilds started. Was it my fault they had four desirable trees instead of just one? Don't judge me!

So I've been spending the past several days with a shovel and a steady supply of Tylenol as I try to dig through the absolute worst "soil" I have ever seen. I put the quotations around word soil because there really isn't any. Less than 1/4" of topsoil that is a light, sickly brown. Immediately underneath that? Pure clay that is so compacted there is quite literally no evidence of earthworm activity. Not one single air pocket. It takes me an average of 9 hours and about fifty two uses of the F word to get the hole dug. As I do get the trees in the ground, I'm employing sheet mulching, a method of building soil from nothing. I am trying this for the first time under the guidance of the book Gaia's Garden by Toby Hemenway.

Sheet mulching is a beautiful simple way to build soil where there is none. I thought I'd give you a quick run-down with some photos of how this is done.

The most time consuming part is getting the materials together.


You will need:

• Enough cardboard to cover the area, making sure each piece will overlap by six inches. Remove any tape or staples.

• Water to the site

• "Green" manure such as grass clipping or old produce

• Finished compost enough to cover about 1 inch of your area

• Bulk mulch such as straw or hay. Bark mulch can be used, but keep in mind the woodier the mulch, the longer it will take to break down. Traditional wood bark mulch will take years to create soil.

• Optional: Bark "pretty" mulch if you have picky neighbors, or desire the more polished look after the good stuff's been put down.

Unless the ground is moist from rain, you'll need to give it a really good soak first and let it sit overnight. Ideally you want the soil to have a "damp sponge" consistency throughout. Then you'll start building your sheet mulch almost like a lasagna. Layer as follows, making sure to water each layer until dampened all the way through.

1. Green manure, about 1" thick. Water.
2. Cardboard, overlapped by about six inches to keep the weeds from growing through the edges. There must be no open areas for light to penetrate. Water.
3. Green manure, about 1" thick. Water
4. Bulk mulch, about 2" thick. Water as you go, because you'll be surprised at how much it would take to water all the way through a finished layer.
5. Finished compost, 1" - 2." If you don't plan on planting the area right away, you can get away with adding soil at a 1:1 ratio. Water
6. Either more bulk mulch or your "pretty" bark mulch. I chose the pretty bark because it's...well...pretty.

Now when I plant the jonquil bulbs around the trunk of the trees (they are great deer deterrents and happen to be my favorite flower) all I have to do is dig through the bark mulch to get to the compost layer beneath. Will it work? I have no idea. Ask me next spring. On to the next project!

There Goes the Blogorhood...

For some time now I've subscribed to Community Chickens, a Mother Earth News publication devoted to my favorite feathered friends. I've found it to be my first go-to guide when I'm looking for new ideas or anything else poultry related.

Recently the call went out for bloggers with chickenthusiasm to submit samples of their writing to become one of their "Community Cluckers," volunteer bloggers for the online site. I couldn't resist giving it a try, so I threw my cyberhat into the pile.

 I'm happy to report that either my writing is considered interesting enough, or perhaps the editors are desperate enough, but either way they've accepted me to be a Community Clucker!

 So look for scintillating tidbits from yours truly to grace (or deface, depending on your opinion of my writing) the Community Chickens site soon! Now if I can just come up with some ideas...

Permaculture: An antidote for Eco-Cynicism?

For some time now I've suffered from a terrible and debilitating syndrome. Okay, not really. But it's a supremely dramatic start to a blog post if you ask me. Anyway, after much thought I finally gave the syndrome a name. Eco-Cynicism Syndrome.

Though it has only been within the past few years that ECS has really taken hold, there were two major factors in my life that made me vulnerable to it to begin with. My passion for the natural world was the first, and my education in Wildlife and Fisheries Science was the second. A little bit of knowledge and a lot of love for our precious natural world can be a dangerous thing in times like these.

I realized I had ECS when I simultaneously reached my midlife crisis, realized my education only served to remove the veil of blissful ignorance that obfuscated the damage our planet was suffering, and reached the end of my  "hope rope" that the human race would ever turn from its soulless doctrine of greed that has overtaken it in favor of a truly sustainable existence based on cooperation and community rather than exclusion, isolation and mindless consumption. In short, I was dangerously close to giving up on us as a species entirely. There didn't seem to be any point to living with sustainability and conservation in mind if there would soon be nothing left to conserve.  My resulting emotional state was one of general malaise, hopelessness and cynicism towards the ability or interest of my fellow humans (with a few exceptions of course) to make any effort towards real and lasting changes that could mitigate the consequences of global climate change, or to accept any responsibility for it.

I spent the last several years trapped in a vicious cycle from the depths of ECS to an overwhelming compulsion to be as environmentally and socially conscious as I possibly could in a frantic effort to somehow "make up for" those who did nothing. Lately however, there was a rapid slide towards hopelessness and the temptation to go off grid not only in the sustainable living sense but also in the complete hermit sense. I was almost ready to shut the gates to our farm and start hoarding seeds and food in preparation for the inevitable societal collapse once the population at large realizes that Peak Oil is no longer a theory, but has in fact already occurred.

Needless to say, my head has been a gloomy place to live in. I kept an optimistic face on as often as I could around others while this inner nihilism ate away at my spirit. When a friend of mine at Oak Hill Farms brought up his interest in permaculture, I nodded politely and thought no more of it. I was too emotionally drained to hear yet one more way I needed to change my lifestyle to be more green when I still have to choke through the haze of my neighbors' burning household garbage, industrial pesticides and herbicides. Fortunately for me though, the curiosity eventually took hold and I stumbled across a few podcasts discussing permaculture that included some of the most influential figures in the movement. Who would have thought it would turn out to be the tonic I so desperately needed.

In learning more about permaculture and its code of ethics (care of the earth, care of people, and limiting your use of resources and sharing of surplus), I came to a drastic realization that may very well change the way I view the natural world and my role in it.  I realize now that though the philosophy of conservation may seem on its surface as the only way to approach natural resource management, it is not. In fact, it could very well be completely misguided at best, and completely ineffective at worst. The conservation model is at its heart a cynical one, seated in a primary philosophy of "not enough." We must have Resource A to survive, yet we teeter on the brink of permanently losing Resource A forever due to misuse, overuse or simply running out. Therefore, the conservation ethic tells us we must do all we can to slow this degradation and permanent loss as long as possible. This leaves a tickle in the back of the mind that our efforts, however noble, will at best postpone the impending crash of Resource A followed by the inevitable domino crashes of Resources B, C, D, E etc., until the entire system collapses in upon itself, leaving behind a dried up husk for a planet. 

How cheerful! No wonder I was felt like I was in a rut. Fortunately permaculture offers up an entirely different world view, one of restoration rather than conservation. Yes, when it comes to natural resources, permaculture operates under the belief that we can fix it, and we can make more.

It's a concept so simple that I can't believe it's not on the tip of every human tongue. Everyone's harping on about organic this and that, and that's all well and good, but how many people realize that organic is now big business, and as an industrialized monoculture it is just as harmful as any other factory farm?  How many people understand that organic certification movement has resulted in a lower quality of life for some farm animals (due to refusal to treat sick or injured animals for fear of losing certification)? Permaculture works solely on the principles of doing what is right for every component of the natural system from soil and seed to knife and fork. Organic is just one tiny part of the bigger permaculture picture. The bigger picture is one of an entire ecosystem working in a natural way to not only preserve our natural resources, but to actually make them healthier and add to them. When was the last time you heard something so optimistic about our environment?

As I read and learn all that I can and slowly make the conversion of our farm to a full scale permaculture farm, I hope I'll be sharing a few success stories amidst the frustrations and failures that are an inevitable part of trying something new. So stay tuned!

Stretching the Wings

In continuation of my earlier blog post about the importance of Farmers Markets I am working on a new post about my newest project, Permaculure. It's still in my head working its way out, so all I can say at this point is that I'm thinking about the post. I hope to have more info within the next day or two, so I hope you'll stay tuned.

Salmonella: Which Eggs are Safe?

In the midst of a massive nationwide egg recall, I have had many people at the market say how glad they are to be buying eggs from pasture raised chickens so they can rest assured that these eggs are "safer" from salmonella than those of the large factory farms. I can assure you as an egg farmer of happy healthy pastured chickens that nothing could be farther from the truth.  In fact, one of the safest methods of producing eggs would be to put a hen in a cage by herself with no bedding or access to other birds. Obviously this would be incredibly inhumane and impractical, much like keeping your child padlocked in her room for her entire life would most certainly keep her safest from sexual predators. At some point a person must weigh the cost of safety and security against a life well-lived.

Consumers are often lured into a false sense of security by equating the labels of "organic," "natural," "cage free" etc to safety. In all reality, the way a hen lives her life has very little to do with the presence or absence of salmonella. What does make a difference is the handling of the egg from nest box (or conveyor belt if in a huge battery cage McFarm) to your table. Responsibility is shared from farmer to processor to shipper to store to customer. Certainly the fewer the steps in between the farm and you can often give you the advantage, but an irresponsible farmer at the Farmers Market could just as easily sell you a carton full of salmonellosis. So here are a few steps from store (or market) to table you can take to do all that you can to insure the eggs you eat are safe.

1. If at all possible, buy local from a local farmer. There are three big reasons this is a good idea. First, you can ask the farmer face-to-face what sort of safety practices they have in place. And if they can't give you a straight answer, WALK AWAY. Second, if (heaven forbid) there were a salmonella outbreak it would be smaller and more easily tracked and managed than with a multi-million egg recall covering nearly every state in the union.Third, farmers at markets tend to care about the people they feed and the critters and plants they do it with.
2. Do not buy a carton with a cracked or broken egg in it. Never mix and match eggs from the store, and never allow a farmer at a market to make any switches between cartons to replace cracked eggs. The entire carton should be thrown out. 
3. Do not let eggs get warm. Keep them refrigerated. Yes, it is true they do not do this in Europe, but in America all eggs must be washed in a bleach solution (50-100ppm in water) before they can be sold. In Tennessee it is illegal to sell eggs not washed in this manner, end of story. Any Tennessee farmer who brags that they only use organic or eco friendly wash or does not use bleach is breaking the law. It's a stupid law that I disagree with and I never do this for my own eggs, but I comply with the law with all eggs I take to the market. The washing method so stupidly insisted upon in Tennessee does help kill pathogens on the egg shell at the time of gather, but it also destroys the natural antibacterial protective membrane (bloom or cuticle) that covers the egg when it is laid by the hen. Without this protective layer the egg is now more susceptible contamination by pathogens. European countries do not use bleach egg washes and therefore have more confidence in not refrigerating their eggs. Side note: This is how I do things at home. I just knock any detritus off the shell and voila! Breakfast! I have been doing this every single morning for four years now and have never gotten ill from one of my eggs.
4. If you wash your eggshells off before cooking, do so with hot water only. Heat causes the interior of an egg to swell, pushing pathogens out. Cold causes the interior of an egg to shrink, pulling contaminants in.
5. Wash your hands immediately after cracking eggs open. Soap and hot water. It is extremely easy to contaminate your refrigerator or counter tops by "just putting a few things up first" before washing your hands. 
6. Thoroughly wipe down your counters and anything else that may have come in contact with eggs while you were preparing the food.
7. Cook eggs thoroughly. This means no sunny side up, no soft scrambling. Yolks must be solidly done, and scrambled eggs must have no liquid left. Never lick the cake batter or cookie dough, and kiss Mom's famous hollandaise goodbye. Or like me, accept that there is risk in life and enjoy it to the fullest!

What I do want to point out here is that there is no specific food we can avoid to protect ourselves from food-bourne pathogens. Anyone who follows the news of food recalls can see they are on the rise, and hello vegans, it's not just animal products. In fact it was organic spinach that caused the deadly e. coli outbreak of 2006. As of today there has been a salmonella outbreak in connection with the veggies used in some Northern Taco Bell restaurants. The answer is not to never again eat The answer is to change how our food is produced. Until the USDA and FDA have finally gotten back regulatory power no industrial food will ever be safe. Some of us believe that is the way things should be, that we should move permanently away from the huge industrial complex of factory farms and back to locally and sustainably produced agriculture. Don't take my word for it. Take a peek at the clip from Food Inc., my favorite documentary on the subject of food production. Clip.

Farmer's Markets are Not Just a Place to Shop

If you have a Farmers Market in your area, do not miss out on this experience. They are all too soon closed for the season and we're forced back into the antiseptic aisles of megastores for the tasteless items trucked in thousands of miles and sprayed with hormones for artificial ripening and then laughingly referred to as "produce." But for a brief interlude we are the fortunate few who can savor the real produce of our land. Real produce is that which is planted in soil with love, carefully watched over and guarded with ferocity, and harvested with pride and a sense of accomplishment to be shared with those who are not as fortunate as we are to have the honor of working our land.

As we embark on our first-ever season as vendors of two local farmers markets (Court Square in Covington and Collierville Farmers Market in Collierville), we expected to meet other small farmers and people interested in a more sustainable way of life. But what we did not expect was the number of people who stand at our booth for long periods of time talking with us. I can always tell when someone is about to tell me a story or share a recipe. The face goes slack and relaxed, the eyes twinkle a bit, and the corners of the mouth curl up in a half smile. Often an index finger points to me as they begin the ritual of "the story." It begins with a statement like:

"My grandmother used to have chickens, and the way she kept critters out was..."

Or

"I used to see those kinds of cucumbers in my Nanny's place, but haven't seen them in years!"

Or

"You know what I like to do with this squash? I like to slice it thin, toss it up with a little olive oil..."

THAT is why I keep going to the Farmers Markets, and that is why I do this work.

I wish I could effectively write about how profoundly this experience has affected me and the way I wish to continue to live my life and do my work. But to even attempt to do so would be like trying to describe the taste of Mrs. Sarah Walton's blueberries after she and her husband planted several bushes together over 25 years ago in a brave experiment just to see what would happen. How do you describe such a miracle in typeface? You don't. You just count yourself blessed to be one of the few people on this earth who has the good fortune to be able to say "I know exactly what they taste like because I just picked a gallon of them and when I popped a few in my mouth they were still warm from the sun and tasting of jonquils."

Do I make a huge profit doing this kind of work? Well, it depends on your definition of profit, doesn't it? If you are asking if I can take a world cruise each February off of my earnings, then no I do not make a huge profit. In fact, this first year I will be lucky to break even. But if by profit you mean that which I gain from hearing these precious memories long pushed into the back of a person's mind and soaking up practical knowledge passed down from generation to generation and not found in any text, then I am the richest person alive. 

So what do I do with all these cucumbers?

For those of you who visited us at the Court Square Farmer's Market, you probably noticed the heirloom variety "Smart Pickles" we had for sale. Perhaps you had one of our free samples and were wondering just how we make our pickles. Let me assure you that it is RIDICULOUSLY easy. Forget the canning jars, water baths, burns and scalds. You can have fresh pickles in your fridge with less than thirty minutes of prep time. The most time you spend is slicing cukes and onions!

Ingredients:

6 cups (about 2 pounds) thinly sliced cucumbers
2 cups thinly sliced onion
1 1/2 cup white vinegar
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground tumeric
1/2 teaspoon of crushed red pepper (more if you like more kick)
1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper

In a glass bowl, put 1/2 your cukes on the bottom, layer with 1/2 your onion and repeat so that you have 2 layers. Combine other ingredients in a saucepan, bring to boil. Cook 1 minute, then pour over the cukes and onions. Let cool, then cover and refrigerate.

And that, my friends, is IT. The recipe says it's best to let them sit in the fridge for 4 days, but I never can wait that long and scarf them down by the first 2 days. They will also store fine in the fridge for a month, but then again, they probably will be eaten long before that!

I am still pulling cucumbers like crazy, so there should be plenty at the market this coming Tuesday. We'll be gone before noon though, as hubby and I are giving a presentation for the Exchange Club on disaster preparedness. Maybe we'll see you there.

From the Garden

Now that we are actually harvesting for the first time, I've started experimenting with stuff from the garden. I know that sounds fairly simple to most folks, but to a newly converted city gal it's big news. Plus, we actually have extra of this stuff to sell at the Collierville Farmer's Market this week. Which is awesome! More money = bigger and better hen house and more chickens.

Ingredients

• 1 lb Spaghetti(though I'm all about angel hair, myself)
• 8 Garlic cloves, chopped
• 1/4 c Olive oil
• 1/2 c Parsley, chopped
• 1/4 c Basil, chopped
• 1/4 c Chives, chopped
• 4 tb Sage, chopped
• Salt & pepper

Preparation

Cook spaghetti until *al dente*. Meanwhile, heat the garlic in the olive oil until it smells fragrant, just a few moments. Toss in the herbs & remove from the heat. Do this right away as herbs can burn easily. Drain the pasta & toss in the pan with the garlicky herbs. Season & serve, but do not add cheese as it only interferes with the herby flavours. Be sure to add enough salt & pepper, however. VARIATION: Omit the basil altogether. Replace the sage with any of the following fresh herbs: marjoram; oregano; thyme; rosemary or tarragon. Conversely, reduce the amount of sage & add a little of all these herbs.

This can be a side dish with a protein, or you can just add your protein to the pasta. Details below.

Protein variation: For extra protein you can saute whatever you are using in olive oil, adding some more herbs (to taste) at the very end. Again, only add the herbs after the protein is actually done cooking. Toss herbs with the protein, chop protein up into cubes or strips, and toss in with the pasta.

It's heating up!

We're not just talking temperature here! Of course, that's the most obvious. Temperatures were soaring into the nineties even before June started. We are not amused.

As for the rest of the farm, boy is it going wild! We went to the Collierville Farmer's Market for the first time two weeks ago with only fresh herbs. We came home disappointed. All day there, I made $1.00. People are apparently intimidated by fresh herbs. Our partner farm, Oak Hill Farms, did great though. So it was fun keeping them company. Next week should be a little more interesting, however. I have several things starting to produce, so I hope to make at least a little bit of money. This will be very welcomed as we start to expand the egg business. I did have many people ask me about eggs and our pay-what-you-can philosophy inspired by the SAME Cafe, but since the eggs are spoken for before they are laid I was unable to offer any at market. This is fine with me, as I'd rather keep it quiet and more personal. I didn't go into this to get rich, anyway! But we do need to increase our income before we can take on any new clients, so that's where the veggie sales come in. We are now supporting over a dozen families under financial strain and we would like to be able to do more, but without an income to offset the costs of more chickens and a new facility, that will be impossible.

Which brings me to my point, the shameless solicitation for help. We still want to provide free eggs to all who need them, but that means we need more hens. We've had a tremendous response, and are now starting to have quite the waiting list. This year we have added twenty more hens (give or take, depending on how many of our chicks are pullets) to the flock, which will put us to capacity at the facility we have now. I suspect that even these new additions will not be enough to meet the demand for our eggs both from those who can pay for them and those who cannot. So we are looking into expanding our flock next year even further, ending up with around one hundred hens. But here's where we need help. We need donations of time, knowledge, money or both to help get this project funded and finished by next spring.

I've broken it down for anyone who is interested to look at. Of course you can email me for more details.

1. Money: Obviously building a new chicken house takes money, as does finishing our ramp up from a small to medium operational egg farm. I'm working on a paypal link, and I encourage anyone and everyone who likes the idea of  pay-what-you-can eggs from pastured chickens to pitch in. 
2. In-kind donations: I'm currently working on a wish list of items we need. When I finish I will link it. I will also include links on the merchants we use for supplies. We gladly take donations in the form of gift certificates!
3. We need volunteers to help with farm chores. In order to volunteer you must be able to work outdoors in all types of weather either in early morning or late afternoon/early evening. You must be over 18 years of age, and able to lift and carry thirty pounds safely. You must be reliable, as working with animals mean they depend on you. If you do not show up, the animals suffer for it. If you cannot come for shifts, you must inform us ahead of time so that we can make arrangements for our animals. If you don't like working with animals, we can always use help in the garden, and gathering berries and apples for market.

In addition to the Collierville Farmer's Market, we will be at the Court Square Farmer's Market in Covington on Saturdays from 8-11. It is located just off the square under the water tower. The Grand Opening is on Friday the 18th, and we will be there then as well.

Speaking of Farmer's Markets, I need to get outside and get the blueberry bushes sprayed with sugar water or else the birds will get more blueberries than we do!

Be sure to check out our new videos on the You Tube Channel. The buckeye chicks have hatched and are adorable!

Now I'm off to look into prefab hen houses and see just what sort of expense we are talking about. Shudder.

New blog on oil started

Since I plan to be spending a lot of time on the subject of the oilcano and training to join the Oiled Wildlife Response volunteers I thought it would be a good idea to start a blog just dealing with that one issue rather than clog up Cluck-n-Neigh with stuff you may not be interested in. The blog is called Of Pelicans and Petrol, and you can find the link in our "Links" area. Or  you can just click on the link here.

I will do what I can to document the experience in hopes to give you a more "inside" look at this incident. It is my fervent hope that in the end, we'll all discover that all this fuss was just a big old waste of time.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming!